After being blinded at the age of 5 from a vicious pit bull attack, Maria Sanchez, 43, says she is willing to finally speak up about one of the many questions plaguing humanity. Most importantly, how do blind people know when to stop wiping?

“I remember the first time I tried to wipe after the incident,” Maria told our reporter. “I made my mom come in and check to make sure I was clean, and that was extremely humiliating for me, especially after my friends found out when I was 14.” She highlighted the mistreatment she received during her formidable years due to her disadvantage in life. “I remember I made my mother come over and check for me while attending a naked slumber party with my friends. I was bullied relentlessly after that. After that, I knew I had to adopt a new method.”

Maria recounted her new method, which she referred to as the ‘scratch and sniff’ approach. She has since talked with blind and visually challenged people about this topic, many of which use the same method. While others like Yao Ling, 11, of Chengdu, China, have adopted the instant shower method. “Once you’re done, you take a shower… every time,” Yao said. So even if it is 14 hours into his 23-hour shift, Yao finds a way, “I just use the hose outback of the warehouse.”

Our visually impaired friends use a more standard “just look and see” approach, like John Westfield, 28, of Nashville, TN. “I’m not blind; I’m just collecting disability. So I look and see if it’s clean.”

So how can our blind friends tell if they’re done wiping? Simply, two-thirds of them can’t. But they use other methods to confirm if they got rid of the stank.

Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent.

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Jeffery Cronquist
Jeff lives in a small town in southwest Montana. Jeff works from home for a majority of his time. His wife, Jennifer, runs one of the most successful and respectable OnlyFans accounts. After graduating from Princeton University, with an honorary degree in Journalism, Jeff co-founded the activist/whistleblower website Wikigeeks. After Wikigeeks’ acquisition by Simple Herald in 2021, he was brought on board as the CSO of Simple Herald. Jeff now spends his time passionately writing about Sus scrofa domesticus for The Simple Herald.

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